Ode to a Mama Chicken (and free chicks)

Chicken math is loosely defined as the inability to ever have “enough” chickens, and the assurance that your chicken population will increase to meet and exceed the space you have available for housing said poultry. I've never really liked chickens and was even afraid of them before we raised our first chicks, but once I got used to having nearly a dozen fresh eggs everyday, I got way over it. I. Love. Chickens.

This year, I had enough chickens to fill the free coop on our place, but the problem was, the brooder was empty. We couldn't have that. I bought 15 new chicks (five of which are little fluffballs that I splurged on just for fun) and set up the brooder, and the next day I had a hen go broody. Her name is Bertha. She's a Buff Orpington, a super fluffy yellow chicken, and she growls and is uber-offended when I take her off her 11 eggs once a day so she will eat. She chases us, chases the cat, chases the dog and the other hens. (The rooster is in solitary, awaiting his trip to freezer camp. That change is, I'm guessing, what made her decide to raise babies while she could.) It has become a source of great enjoyment for all of us to watch Bertha get all mad and fluff up her feathers and cluck, and Lord, don't let another hen think she's going to sit on Bertha's nest. It sounds like a chicken massacre with all the squawking and growling and indignant screaming. (Yes, chickens scream.)

Broody Bertha, well-rested and giving me the "stink eye."

So this morning when I got Hubs and the elder bambino off to school, the younger one and I started preparing for hatch day this Friday. We got a regular old cardboard box, turned it on its side and filled it with shavings, then attached it to the floor of the coop so the babies wouldn't have far to fall if they fell out of the nest. What surprised me was that Bertha was off the nest when I went outside to let the girls out. Then I heard the most ear-splitting growl/screech you can imagine, and realized that the eggs were still nice and warm... under another hen. She was warning me to back off, because this egg-sitting is serious business. Apparently, after 17 days Bertha got tired of doing this whole thing by herself and needed some time off, so she hired a surrogate broody to give herself a break.

Sounds like there's a lesson there, doesn't it?

Starting a price book means never having to head-slap yourself for paying too much

A price book is a notebook you organize to suit your shopping habits, in which you record a product's price per ounce (or serving, if you prefer), the brand, size of the container, store name and date. A cold cereal category might look like this:

Brand Name	Package Size	Store	Date	Price per Oz
HCF Corn Flakes	18 oz	East Side Grocery	04/06/12	0.087

(If using software to make your price book, I just realized you need to set your number format to text so it won't automatically round your price per ounce to the nearest penny.)

When you're first starting a price book, I recommend going to the store without children, if at ALL possible. At least for me, when there's math involved, it must have my undivided attention if it's going to be anywhere close to accurate. Use a calculator to figure price per ounce or serving; don't trust the handy-dandy price per ounce on the shelf tag that some stores provide. That number is sometimes wrong, so figure it yourself.

Calculate the prices of everything in a certain category that you are sure your family will eat, and then decide on a maximum price per unit (price point) you're willing to pay. For cold cereal, I don't pay more than 11 cents an ounce. Don't assume that larger quantities (such as huge bags of cereal) are cheaper; that's what manufacturers want you to assume. Those bags sometimes cost double what smaller boxes cost. What happens when I don't find cereal that is less than my highest price point? We don't have cereal.

Keeping a price book can help you track store sale cycles (usually 3 months). It can also save you time at the store if you're buying loss-leader items, because you'll know in advance if they're good buys for you. Loss-leaders are advertised sales, usually on the front and back pages of a sales circular, on which the store takes a loss. They're hoping that great deals will entice you into the store and you'll spend money on other things so they'll recoup that loss, but an ad scheme is no match for a smart shopper with a price book.

A few of my price points:

• Cereal: 11 cents an ounce
• Fresh fruit: $1 a pound
• Cabbage: 33 cents a pound
• Potatoes: 30 cents a pound (good cheap food, but “junk” food in my book)
• Ground meat: $1.50 a pound
• Bone-in meat: $1 a pound

Just a note: adjust your price points with inflation. The cost of everything has gone up about 33 percent recently, and it's only going to go higher as gas prices increase.